So earlier this month I noticed a bunch of bloggers starting to do 31 Day posts about all sorts of things: 31 Days of Gratitude, 31 Days of Slow Cooker Recipes, 31 Days of Books, etc. After a little more digging, I discovered that they all originated with a blog called The Nester and it is an every October link-up with more than 1,000 bloggers participating. I unfortunately was too late to start at the beginning of October, but I still thought it was a great idea and wanted to do something like it. And another blogger I follow is doing something similar right now and the idea of becoming a better wife and really loving on my husband resonated with me.
Tim has been major stressed at work, gone through a death in his family recently, and has been really patient and loving while having to deal with a ton of events on my side of the family this fall. So I wanted to make sure that I was showing him every day how much he means to me. And with a baby, its hard to make time to do that when we both want to collapse on the couch immediately after Owen goes to bed. So I decided to do my own series called "31 Days of Loving Your Husband." I'm not linking up to the original poster because I don't plan on posting about this every single day (and even if I did, I am about two weeks behind anyway.) I thought instead that I would do more of a weekly round-up of the things that I did with maybe a bonus post here and there if needed.
So what is the purpose of what I've decided to blog about? To be more purposeful when it comes to giving my husband love and attention. In the end, I just want to be more intentional about loving my husband every day. And maybe start some habits that will last for the rest of our marriage. And I invite you to join me in doing so if you like.
Here's a recap of my first week. Feel free to use some of my ideas or tailor them to your own husbands. And just so you know, Tim has no idea that I'm doing this. (Well, until he reads this blog post.)
Monday: Nothing fancy. Tim had been complaining about his back hurting so I offered to massage his back while we watched a television show. And I didn't expect any reciprocation.
Sometimes after a long day at home with the kid(s) or at work, the last thing on your mind is to give your husband some loving attention. And this can be hard on them when they see how much effort we as women put into mothering our children and pleasing our employers, friends, extended family, etc. Sometimes they feel like the very last person on our priority lists. So initiate a massage or some cuddling when he is not expecting it.
Tuesday: Today I started making sure to pack Tim's lunch every day. Typically, I make enough food at dinnertime that he usually has enough leftovers to take to lunch, but Monday we had our parenting class where we eat there so there were no leftovers. I knew that I was planning to do this so on my grocery shopping trip on Monday I made sure to buy lunch foods, snacks, and some portable breakfast foods too since Tim normally takes breakfast to work with him since he leaves so early in the morning. I could tell when he saw me packing his lunch on Monday night that he really appreciated it. He gets up so early in the morning that making his lunch is just another hassle to add to his morning routine and many times he runs out of time getting ready and doesn't take lunch and ends up having to skip eating or just snack on stuff around the office. And really, if I stay stocked with lots of options, it is so easy for me to do this in the evenings when I'm picking up after dinner.
Find a way to help your husband in his daily routine. The morning is always a stressful and hurried time of day and anything you can do to simplify it for him is great.
Wednesday: Today I made sure to pack Tim's breakfast and lunch again. I also woke up when he was in the shower and filled his thermos with coffee and packed a sweet card in with his lunch telling him how proud I am of how hard he works and how thankful I am to be able to stay home with Owen. I think that one of the reasons that Owen is talking so much and knows so much is because he gets one-on-one attention from me all day and I know that he wouldn't be able to get that in a daycare. I told Tim that he should be proud of how much Owen knows because he's the one who makes it all possible.
Show your husband some love by writing him a letter to thank him for being a good provider, leader, hard worker, and loving husband and father. Encourage him especially in areas where he may be going through a difficult time.
Wednesday was sort-of a two-fer because I also made us a special Mexican fiesta mid-week date night dinner so that after work and Owen going to bed, we could enjoy a fun meal (and a margarita) together and relax watching some of our favorite funny shows - Go On and Modern Family. Sometimes its fun just to break up the work week with a mini-celebration of sorts. And on a related note, I highly recommend Pioneer Woman's Tequila Lime chicken and Mexican rice recipe.
Can't wait until the weekend for some time together? Put your kids to bed early and have an at-home date night. It doesn't have to be costly or involved. Snuggle up on the couch together and watch a Netflix movie or catch up on your DVR.
Sound like a good idea for your husband? Do you know what your husband's favorite dinner is? Run to the store, grab the ingredients, and surprise him with his favorite meal. Bonus points for dessert!
Friday: This weekend I decided to take an item from Tim's honey-do list and help him complete the job as a team. We have been talking about getting our yard and landscaping cleaned up and ready for winter and the upcoming spring, but we've been really busy lately. I know it was something he wanted to do, but something that easily gets put off. So when Tim had to go in to work on Friday, I decided to get started pulling weeds. When he got home, we worked in the yard together for a couple hours and continued to do so for a few hours every day for the rest of the weekend. And now, other than pruning our rose bushes and hydrangeas, we're finished with that huge job!
I know that a lot of women believe that yard work is solely the man's job, but I've found that working together on any job always makes it more pleasant and you finish it faster too. I actually found myself enjoying working together with my husband and taking pride in our yard. And it really meant a lot to Tim to have me help. He mentioned how impressed he was with how hard I was working at least three or four times.
If you want to do something similar, take a look at your husband's honey do list and ask him if there is any way you can help him with some of the projects. Try to take some of the load off of him. I'm sure he'll appreciate it!
Saturday: This morning I got up with Owen and fed him breakfast and played with him quietly so that Tim could get some extra sleep. He ended up staying in bed until 10 a.m., which is unheard of in our house. Because Tim wakes up normally every day by 5 a.m., he sometimes needs to get some extra sleep and while I would have loved to have been the one to get some extra shut-eye, I knew he really needed it after a hard week at work.
Who doesn't love sleeping in on the weekend? Allow your husband to sleep in late. And if you don't have kids, sleep in with him! Trust me. Enjoy it while you can.
Sunday: During Owen's naptime, I encouraged Tim to watch football and follow his fantasy football players. He normally doesn't get a lot of time to just sit and relax, so I know he really loved getting the green light to be unproductive for a couple hours.
What does your husband really love to do that you might not think is the best use of his time? Fantasy football, anyone? Give him time to do just that. And no nagging about what he could be accomplishing instead. And while he's doing that, go take some time for yourself.
So that's it for the first week. It wasn't that hard and I would be happy if you wanted to join me. Check out my ideas and tailor them to the man in your life. You can grab my button on the right side of the blog. Leave me a comment if you decide to participate. I'd love to see what ideas you come up with!